Green mascara: a rebel’s first brushstroke

Anita Bhagwandas recalls the moment a cheap tube of green mascara became an act of defiance, sparking a lifelong exploration of self-expression and challenging Beauty norms.

The shrek-esque start

It wasn’t Chanel. It wasn’t even a recognizable shade of green. At twelve, a pound-shop mascara in South Wales offered a “mucous-tinted” hue – a shade reminiscent of a swamp creature. The initial reaction was hostile. Teachers demanded its removal, classmates recoiled, but Bhagwandas found a strange allure in the transformation.

“It wasn’t pretty, or cute,” she says. “But I loved the way it transformed my face. I loved how polarising it was. I loved that it made people slightly uncomfortable.” That discomfort, she realized, was a form of power.

This early experience wasn't an isolated incident. Growing up, Bhagwandas felt excluded by the narrow Beauty standards prevalent in South Asia, where skin tone was categorized in a limited spectrum. She experimented with dyeing her hair pink, customizing clothes with band lyrics, and embracing tattoos and piercings – choices that were often met with disapproval.

Later, working in fashion magazines in London, she found herself conforming to a prescribed aesthetic of effortless chic, a stark contrast to her own evolving sense of self. “I barely recognise myself” in those early photos, she admits, recognizing the pressure to assimilate.

But the urge to rebel resurfaced. Bhagwandas now embraces bold makeup – a startling eyeliner, a striking hairpiece – not as a fashion statement, but as a litmus test. “If you recoil at my bleached brows, or red eyeshadow, then we are unlikely to agree on much else,” she notes. Beauty, she argues, is a reflection of cultural and political climates. To defy the dominant aesthetic – to wear glitter at 60, to embrace grey hair at 30 – is an act of radical self-possession.

Now, when faced with the anxieties of aging or the urge to conform, Bhagwandas reaches for the most audacious thing in her makeup bag. It's a small, private act of resistance – a reminder that self-expression should be dictated by personal preference, not societal expectations. This initial, unconventional choice of green mascara wasn't about fitting in; it was about finding her own voice.

Bhagwandas’ story isn't just about makeup; it’s about challenging the very definition of beauty and reclaiming agency over one's appearance. It's a quiet revolution, one brushstroke at a time.